grandaddy at a fucking record store in brooklyn. records indeed i cherish records i long for records as i have been amassing a collection since those childhood days of neglected needles upon scratched skipping and broken records warped and abused by the destructive child ethan. but these days i can sit and stare at the records while they clockwise spin on the manual belt driven table turning. sit and stare for twenty something minutes then flip and cue and sit and stare for another twenty something minutes. just sit and stare and listen and absorb the vibrations of the needle on the etches and the sounds emanating through my ear drums triggering the neurons and synapses driving the perpetual mind machine occupying my decaying skull.
i was a different person then. i was not as jaded and bitter as i am now. i was not as disgusted and disappointed with the world at large bled dry as psychopathic humans murder and destroy effortlessly in the name of peace through imperial strength and phony missions accomplished photo ops on oversized aircraft carriers. it was 2003 and i was deep but not too deep into my nine eleven rabbit hole when i saw grandaddy and elliott smith both for the last time in new york my home away home. it was during the time i still believed they let it happen on purpose by taking advantage of so called blowback while citing intelligence failures for their lack of security and thus the catalyst for their act of blind patriotism designed to destroy civil liberties in the name of a new war on. a global preemptive war on. a global war on terrorism.
and now these days i am so deep into nine eleven and associated acts that i am drowning in my own self constructed endless feedback loop deep in the bowels of the prison i self constructed in my mind. and grandaddy is playing tonight at a fucking record store in brooklyn and there i will be away from twitter and twittercide imminent but soft for now. away from the psychological operation owned and fueled by billionaire disney fanboy jack dorsey. there i will be in the record store surrounded by countless vinyls all the while absorbing grandaddy. surrounded by vinyls and bitter and jaded but content for a moment or two and a set list that i will scribble on a piece of printer paper folded into fours in the dark with my eyes on the band so i do not miss a beat because tonight there will be no bridges and tunnels between brooklyn's rough trade and home out on the island.
flashback to june 18 2001 at benaroya hall in seattle where grandaddy opened for elliott smith and together they performed grandaddy's he's simple he's dumb he's the pilot just one week after mcveigh was executed and nearly three months before nine eleven was executed.
flashback to september 4 2012 at shepherd's bush empire in london where during their reunion tour encore grandaddy covered elliott smith's classic oh well okay.
__________
they paint the moon today
some brand new future color
go progress chrome
i aim to shoot the scaffolds
i like it how it's always been
selfless line of work
the word that comes to mind with me is selflessness
if he's laying down saying he's sorry
tell him it's okay we learn this way
tell him it's okay we learn this way
